We studied idioms recently in our homeschooling, and while "at your wit's end" wasn't one that we talked about, it is where I was at yesterday. It means being upset and not knowing what to do.
I realize that what I've been dealing with isn't earth-shattering, and in the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal. But when you are exhausted, have one thing after another coming at you, it starts to pile up and there's the whole "straw that broke the camel's back" thing.
Remember the car wreck from August 17th? Well, my car is still in the body shop. It was supposed to be ready last Tuesday, then last Friday, then Monday, then yesterday, and now this Friday. I don't hold out hope anymore that it will actually be ready when they tell me. Yes, I'm thankful that the other insurance company is paying to fix it. I'm thankful that it is fixable. I'm thankful that they have set me up in a rental car in the meantime. But it still stinks. I want MY car back. I want that part of normal back. I want to quit dealing with insurance companies, body shops, and rental car companies.
Then, last week we were finally getting back on a roll and in a groove with our homeschool schedules and lessons. We were really getting into it. Last Thursday morning I went out into the garage to get a supply for a science experiment and instead I found standing water. It was right by the closet that holds our hot water heater and pressure tank. I figured (hoped) it was the hot water heater.
I turned the water off and started calling plumbers. I went to the room that was on the other side of the wall from the closet, which happens to me our middle child's room, to see if the water had seeped through the wall. Sure enough, it had. The carpet in his closet was wet, as well as the carpet on one side of the room. So, I also called the carpet people to get the water dried up. It was more than a little damp, and with allergy boy I just can't risk having mold grow. When they came out, they actually found a little more water damage than I realized. We were left with pulled up carpet, dehumidifiers, fans, and noise. Again.
The first plumbers weren't able to find the leak, even after cutting two holes in the wall (which they then told me they weren't responsible for fixing). Sent them away and called the plumbing company I should have called first, which does leak detection. They couldn't come out until Friday morning. When they did come out, they found the problem: slab leak. Oh joy.
After getting estimates and talking it over with my husband, we decide on which route we want to go. Because it was so late on Friday afternoon when we got the estimates no work could begin until Monday. It would take three days to fix. As I'm writing this it is about noon on Wednesday. We've been without running water in our house for a week. They assure me we will have water by tonight. They better be right.
So, the wit's end part. It all just got to be too much yesterday. I was trying to figure out why my car wasn't ready and when it would be. Communication is not the strong suit of any of the other parties involved, apparently. We've been showering at my parents house and spending a lot of time there. While I'm very thankful and appreciative that we have that opportunity, again I just want to be able to take a shower and wash my hands in my own house, you know? Like I said before, I want that part of normal back. I sat at the dining room table in my parents' house and just started crying. I couldn't help it. I've been trying to handle everything, take care of everything, make sure everyone else's needs are being met, and like many other moms I neglect my own needs in the process. I'm exhausted. The last two nights we haven't slept in our own house because of the work being done, and the kids just don't sleep well when they aren't in their own beds. I don't either.
It's been a long week in a long month in a long year. I know better than to ask "what else" or "what's next" because I know that the universe is always happy to show just what else can happen. I know that other people are dealing with loads that are much heavier to bear than mine. But sometimes even little things can send you to your wit's end. At those times, a good cry, a glass of sweet tea and a phone conversation with your best friends can do wonders.